What the hell, brain

Today I suffered at the hands(?) of my brain playing tricks on me. Clearly there couldn’t be a technological malfunction. No no. My friend stood me up and/or intentionally told me the wrong time. *eye roll* This makes me feel bad for not trusting my friend like I should. So I feel extra bad.  In addition, I’m losing my mind…. Or I had it for a moment and it’s gone again. The bright side I suppose is that I’m getting to do some good and I’m helping to put together sashes for the feis we’re putting on. This actually makes me extremely happy because I’m helping out a school I LOVE. When my husband lost his job earlier this year, we considered moving back to Dallas… But I thought about it and was totally depressed for an entire day until I finally told him I actually didn’t want to move back to Dallas. I loved it where we were. Because of this school and the teachers and people in it. My other hobby was eh. I AM happier here for it, but I also had a small knot of people in Dallas I could be with too. In any case, the anxiety has been strong with me for the past week. Monday I had such a bad anxiety attack that I literally could not medicate down. I took my maximum dose of Xanax and was still shakey and on the verge of tears. Fortunately, I found out entertaining things and that someone is just as fucking twisted as I am so it helped and I danced as much as possible. My Achilles tendons are REALLY sore. Dancing was absolute torture Monday night but I sweated out my tension and anxiety even though dancing is the main thing I have anxiety about. Fucking FUNNY how that shit works…. Anyway this is long and rambly. 

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